Surrendering Dreams

 

I wanted to head into the weekend by sharing a shift in perspective.

 I first started my blog as an assignment from my Marketing professor in college. He was my least favorite teacher I’d ever had in my lifetime of schooling, yet he gave me one of my greatest gifts.

I was a Fashion Merchandising major, surrounded by some of the best teachers and most talented people in the industry. I’ve always had an overwhelming passion for runway shows and couture, sneaking my mom’s Vogue’s before she could get a hand on them and buying sewing patterns and old fashion books. I was sure I wanted to be a fashion blogger and set my heart on that.

But, the funny thing is, even when God allows us to create a vision for the dreams we have, painting every scenario and attaching our hearts to them, He still softly whispers for us to remember to surrender them. 

Every dream, surrendered to His will.

When I rebranded the blog nearly six months ago, I chose “lifestyle” as the title because honestly, while clothing and styling are still a huge part of my life, I don’t watch runway shows anymore. My fashion magazines go untouched and collecting designer labels often feels wasteful and unnecessary…I was so grateful I didn’t dive head first into the fashion blogger life all those years ago, because that’s what life does. It shifts. And my passions have shifted with my titles. I am a wife, a mother, an illustrator, a writer. I’m navigating what it means to thrive in a plant based lifestyle and how to turn my babies hearts towards the Lord in everything we do. Homeschooling was put on my heart years and years ago and while I won’t quite jump into that yet, it’s on my mind every single day. 

All of that said, my dreams are shifting—and its not on accident, but I want to make sure its with purpose. 

I started reading “Cultivate” by the wonderfully talented Lara Casey earlier this week and it has been churning my heart in deeply beautiful ways. In the book, she said something that made me dog-ear the page and set it aside. She says, “Let’s set our feet on this new path together. Envision living a cultivated life and growing what matters right where you are. What would your cultivated life look and feel like?”

After sharing her visions of her ideal cultivated life-a life quite different than the busy, over scheduled life she was walking in while writing the book-she said this:

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“Imagine yourself one year from today. Picture where you might be, or where you’d like to be. Imagine yourself reflecting on the year you’ve just lived. What would it take for you to look back and know that you lived an intentional life?”

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Phew. 

Can I be honest here? About thirty percent of my life looks the way I want it to. I love our days. I’m grateful for how O and I adjusted the schedule this year to choose eachother and have the calander reflect it. I’m so grateful for the amount of time I have one on one with these littles of mine. And while, from a time standpoint I may not be so far off, from a heart standpoint I have a long way to go. 

This blog was given to me, placed in my dreams long before it came to be and I know that it’s where I’m called to share all I’ve been brought to and though. But the rules I’ve set for myself are rules that haven’t been submitted, but were instead made out of fear and comparison to what’s been done before. 

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19

I work so hard each week to make sure every Monday, Wednesday and Friday there is a new post up that’s meaningful and beautiful. Hours of time pour into each one, hours that could be divvied up other places all calling equally for my attention. I’m not saying that timeline is wrong or even that it’s going to change-but if it is, I won’t be afraid. The verse before that one above says, “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder the things of the past.” 

This tells me nothing that’s been done before is going to be the foundation of what needs to be done right now. 

No one else’s’ blogging schedule or content schedule has to be the framework for mine. The key to someone elses brand deals and reach will not be the key to mine. And one year from now, in order to say I lived an intentional life, I need to know I didn’t spend a year trying to make my life look like someone else’s. 

Instead, I need to know I spent the year laying on the floor or running in the yard, with these two babies of mine, listening intently, laughing deeply and loving unconditionally. That I spent it walking hand in hand with my very best friend and occasionally slipping my hand into his back pocket (because friends, that’s a good place to be.) And most importantly, that I spent it on my knees in prayer, seeking His help to make my heart look like His. 

Here’s to surrendering schedules and surrendering dreams to exchange my good for His best. 

 

 

*Just a PSA, This isn’t a vague ambiguous way of any impending blog deleting or content shift (I’m here to stay!) but rather a reminder that every single thing in our lives is subject to change and to live with open hands rather then clenched fists. 

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