May 24, 2021
I can’t quite believe it, but our sweet pea turns one today.
Our rainbow girl, our sunshine, she is everything we dreamed she’d be. My water broke at 11pm on the 23rd and I decided to sit on my birth ball through the night rather than walk her out so I could rest. By the time O and I left for the birth center, my contractions were mild as could be and honestly, I was feeling optimistic my hypnobirthing work was really paying off. I assumed I’d be in for a smooth car ride, a sweet meditative labor and painless birth.
I got in the car all smiles and within thirty seconds, I was rocked by a contraction so strong I told O to turn around. Go home. I can’t do it. I quit.
When I arrived, the midwives checked me and told me with eyes that said “I’m so sorry” that I was only 4 centimeters dilated. I cried. My contractions were so powerful and overwhelming I had convinced myself I was at least an 8 and I couldn’t process that information. Miraculously, within half an hour, I’d progress from a 4 to a 10 and in just under two hours start to finish, we went from agony to bliss. She was here.
Her birth is much like her life thus far. The first couple months were hard. We both got Covid when she was four weeks old, the isolation of quarantine was lonely and heavy, she had weeks of unexplained rashes and skin irritations, her digestion was a giant question mark, sleep was hard to come by and a lip and tongue tie made nursing grit-your-teeth painful. The first few months felt like it was too much, that level of difficulty felt unsustainable. But one day when we least expected it, the clouds parted, all the “hard” was over and then came long, lasting bliss.
Zeameh is pure delight. She is the light of her siblings’ eye and has brought so much life and joy to our family. Homegirl is loud, silly and-in a word-sweet. We prayed for her, we waited for her, we couldn’t love her more.
I’m so glad I get to be her mama.
happy birthday, darling.