In the winter months especially, I rely heavily on predictable pieces that fit into three criteria: 1. It has to be comfortable. 2. It has to be effortless. 3. It has to be flattering. Winter adds one more crucial criteria: it has to keep me warm. The items that fit into this category win a spot in my Momiform. A momiform is, loosely, a uniform of sorts that makes getting dressed every day for life with your kids a no-brainer. Today, we’ll talk about identifying the pieces you reach for most and evaluating if that has been intentional or unintentional. On Thursday, I’ll share the actual pieces I call my MVP during this January-March stretch.
I gave myself two weeks after having Oshiolema and Keogena to wear pajamas all day. My robe, crunchy sweats, milk stained pajamas, the worst of the worst (or best of the best, lets be real.) After that two week stretch, it was time to get dressed for the day. Getting dressed may look like putting on joggers or leggings, but I have to intentionally get dressed. My grandma got dressed every single day (and still does-jeans!) and I watched my mom, a stay at home mom, get dressed every single morning too–shoes and all. When I asked her why she doesn’t just wear her pajamas, she said “I always feel more productive and motivated when I get dressed in the morning and also, I do it for dad.”
This has stuck with me my entire life. Yes, I had my schlumpy years early in marriage where I bucked against this idea. I worked out early in the morning and often stayed in my gross workout clothes all day long until my shower before bed. While I did fly across the country to attend my classes for school two days a week, while I was home I was H O M E. I had no job, blogged about once every few months, attended Bible study one day a week and that was it. Despite having more free time than ever in my life, I was the least productive I’ve ever been. I realized I needed to flip things on their head and where did I start? Getting dressed.
When I stay in what I slept in the night before all day long, I find that I’m half as productive as I am when I get dressed. I avoid errands, I don’t want to take the kids to the park and I’m overall more lethargic when it comes to finishing tasks. I call it the “too-cozy” effect. Instead, I wake up before my kids are up, start the morning slow in my robe and after breakfast I put on something that hits my Top 3. Comfortable, Flattering, Effortless. Some days it’s my favorite jeans, a tee and a cardigan. Some days its a dress that takes two seconds to throw on. Some days its my beloved Align leggings and a fitted hoodie. But 99% of the time, I get dressed.
You guys know I’m old fashioned. I know for many women the thought of getting dressed in the morning “for their husband” is enough to cause a simultaneous eye roll, gag and sigh. I get it. I’m certainly not putting on red lipstick before O walks in the door or anything, but I do love for him to come home to a dressed version of me. (Friends. The level of restraint required to just leave that sentence without a follow up has to be acknowledged. Moving on with a wink and a smile.)
The woman he met and fell in love with was passionate about getting ready for the day. She put care and effort into herself daily, even if it was minimal. I didn’t want the message to be “we had kids and I don’t have time anymore” or “we’ve been married for almost 8 years-you get the point.” No. While I can’t control what my body looks like or amount of time we have for dates and one on one time, I can always choose to keep that part of myself the same. On Saturdays, we rough it. The kids stay in pajamas, I spend endless hours in the best robe on the planet and if I have to, I’ll change into something nice and hideous. College t-shirts, O’s sweatshirt…something that fits into a totally different criteria: I like it. It’s cozy. It feels like pajamas or it IS pajamas. Saturdays are wonderful. Sundays are for church but you better believe that after church, Saturday’s clothing rules also apply.
Here’s where the work comes in: Set aside some time to really dedicate to your closet. I’m not going to ask you to go all Marie Kondo on it or anything, but I am going to ask you to be honest with yourself. Look at the pieces you wear the most often at home. This will look different if you’re a stay-at-home mom than if you’re a working mom, but be honest either way. Are the items you reach for most the items you actually want to be wearing? Or have you just gotten comfortable with the same 5 pieces? Take the sweater I’m wearing, for instance. I wear it all.the.time, as most of you know, but I am completely okay with that. It fits my 3 criteria and I truly love it.
The grey joggers I was wearing at least once a week, on the other hand? Not so much. They were unflattering and dingy but they were always right there and so comfortable. The question then becomes, do I have something else that’s just as comfortable that is more flattering or more appealing? What in my closet can I swap this out for as a staple piece?
The t-shirt that was really flattering and pretty with the tag that drove me crazy? I wore it far too often and spent days irked by this scratchy, uncomfortable spot on my neck. I tried on all my t-shirts and saw I had virtually the same tee, just better. Swap. It’s simple and this little bit of ground work will make getting dressed in the morning a breeze.
I’ll be back on Thursday to share some of my go-to pieces that have earned their spot in my wardrobe and are set in stone. I’d love to hear whether or not you get dressed every day and if you do, what’s your own personal “why.”