June 27, 2018
This wasn’t the post I had scheduled for today. In fact, it’s 8:48pm and I’ve just started writing. It’s one of those times where I have so much to say but I know the time is tender and the words need to be few. Let’s talk about marriage.
O is nine years older than me and I got married at twenty-one years old. I’ve been told for as long as I can remember that I was “wise beyond my years” and “mature for my age,” but you can’t enter marriage with your bonus points and compliments and have them count for anything. Whether you get married at 20 or 65, oneness will be brand new. And it will take work. It will take commitment. But most of all, it takes a choice.
It is a choice to say goodbye and I love you to your spouse every time you leave the house, even when you are in the musty heat of a disagreement and you want your silence to say more than a proper goodbye could.
It is a choice to keep the promise you made on your honeymoon to never ever sleep in separate rooms, even if that means you’re literally sleeping on the seam of the edge of the mattress and your heart is pounding in frustration.
It is a choice to ask for forgiveness when your spouse has been offended, even if you feel offended and want to shout from the rooftops that you weren’t wrong.
It is a choice to pray for them instead of talk badly about them.
It is a choice to put their feelings and needs ahead of your own.
(…it is a choice to repent for your selfishness when you mess up on that one).
It’s 9:13pm now. And tonight, this simple reflection is heavy on my heart; we walk in the fullness of our oneness when we both decide, despite any feeling or circumstance, to remember our choices and choose them again.