I have been on hiatus for a while- my dear readers- but I wouldn’t allow the year to pass by without one more post for 2011.
I had to start with a story- I am usually the half of Team Atogwe that proposes the most unusual questions, for no particular reason, all day long. These questions include, but are not limited to: “Isn’t it so weird that we need sleep? Do you ever think of what life would be like if we lived underwater? If we were spies, do you think we would wear underwear that is actually a weapon? Do you think that if a person rubs their hands together non-stop for three months they would lose all their fingerprints?” And so on. He usually entertains the questions and answers to humor me- but more often than not the answer is just “No.”
The other day while we were laying in bed on a rare off-day, Oj said “Isn’t it so weird that we can never see total darkness?” I was shocked, I thought I was still dreaming and somehow talking to myself. Sure enough, there was my hubby talking to me with his eyes closed. He continued, “even if I close my eyes and stare at my eyelids, I always see the light coming in. And even when our brains try to trick us to think we are in total darkness, there is always light there.” I was giddy and excited to finally play the game so I just encouraged it with things like “Yea! That’s so strange! Lets keep trying! Nope I still see light!” You’ll have to forgive me, I took full advantage of the moment.
When I thought about it later that day, though, the perfection of it hit me like a ton of bricks. At this point in the season, we have gone through more football-presented challenges than ever before in our lives. Oj was hurt for more games than ever, disrespected, doubted, and at the lowest point of the season-he was benched. After starting in every game for six years in a row, being benched was something we both never pictured. We held tight to the Lord and each other more than ever to remember our identity is not determined by the coaches, the media, the fans, our position or status. We are just who the Lord says we are.
In order to remember this, we began repeating Psalm 139:14 to each other every night-reminding each other that “We Praise God because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are His works, and our souls know it very well.” We were able to find incredible joy and peace in the fact that yes-the human nature part of us is struggling. But God is still in charge, and we want to be exactly where He wants us. It seems pretty dark over here- but the light is always, always there.
With that said- I am a little sad to wish this year goodbye. 2011 Is the year I started a blog. Creating an outlet for all these thoughts that run like wild banshees through my head all day long is one of the greatest decisions I made this year. Accompanying that proud decision are a few more:
Becoming part of the Washington Redskin Family
Deciding (literally three hours before the flight) to go to PAO
Learning how to forgive in pre-marital counseling
Saying I-Do to the most wonderful husband on the planet
Meeting with allergen specialist Dr. Barbara Mackie
Learning how to trust God in every situation
All of those things played an enormous part in making 2011 the best year of my life. I feel that I grew in independence, faith, and learning my body. For the first time ever, I am happy to spend New Year’s Eve’s knowing I am so proud of the woman I became in 2011. I don’t want today to end because I have attachment issues, but if 2012 means the 2011 football season is over, midnight cannot come fast enough!
Blessings to you and yours this evening and especially this year. Remember when making resolutions that the most important goal is to cling more tightly to the Lord this year than ever before- making tangible goals to be open to His will by being in His word. You will absolutely not regret it.