February 7, 2019
When you read this, I will be freshly 29 years old. One day into my first steps of the last years of my twenties and let me say, I have many thoughts about it. Like, for starters, why does the word “twenty” sound so young and thirty song so much older? I’m not talking at all about the age. Push that out of your mind. Just the word itself coming out of your mouth—twenty. It sounds fresh. Crisp. Lemongrass and poppies and maybe some gingersnaps. It sounds like the color yellow.
Now say thirty. Thir-ty. It sounds like velvet throw cushions and a cup of espresso and old books. It sounds like burgundy or navy or something serious. I’m not there, quite yet. One more year left here in the lemongrass years. I will never look at time and wish it away. Never, ever. But I do always feel a bit strange about the nines. They can be so heavy and loaded with to-do’s and to-don’t that the fun is already gone before it begins.
Not for me, friends. Not for me.
I tend to see birthdays as a bit of a New Year (always love a fresh start…the more the better) and I have many goals for the final chapter in the book that is my twenties. More fun. More joy. More tenderness. Less stuffy, more silly as a wife and friend but most especially as a mother.
28 brought all the lessons and thus it was the year of the game face. The furrowed brow. The tense jaw and the tears at the ready. The gift that comes from years like that is gaining endurance. Even if this 29 throws the same challenges at me, I’ll be able to meet it with a whole very different face. One with a smile.
I’m so grateful for another year to grow and while I have many things I want to do before thirty, I’m feeling especially overwhelmed by all that I’ve been given to do right this moment. To serve the Lord, love my husband well, care for, guide and grow with my babies and be faithful here in this space. Every dream I’ve ever had has already come true.
A quick heads up: I’ll be taking the rest of the month off of social media until March 1st to reset and recharge. This is a big month for me. I’ve been on an intense healing protocol for Hashimoto’s and it ends next month. Two enormous boxes that needed to be checked off in order to heal are sleep and stress. Friends, let me just tell you that those squares have been sitting empty for a long time. I’m determined to get a check mark in there to make strides in my health and it’s taken a lot of evaluating to come up with a game plan. In the end, it’s really simple-it looks like prioritizing my priorities.
The thing about Instagram is that it’s just SO wonderful. It’s so satisfying! It’s such a beautiful distraction! I love connecting with people I wouldn’t know outside the app. I love being inspired every two minutes. I love taking screenshots of things I’ll never see again because my photos are terribly unorganized. I love it all. But as a stay at home mom, I began wanting that distraction more and more often. I was itching to look at my phone instead of tackling whatever thing actually needed to be done right then, even if that “thing” was spending one on one time with my sweet babies. I don’t like that feeling.
Between scrolling and responding to DM’s (two things I so enjoy) I was spending more and more time on this delightful app. I wanted to take a month away for my birthday to break the addiction pattern and make a plan of action for when I come back. In the time I would have spent on social media, I plan on painting and reading instead. The blog won’t change whatsoever though, so be sure to check back every Monday and Thursday!
Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement for this break. I’m grateful for your understanding and enthusiasm for this space-I started a blog as a creative outlet and it has turned into something so much more. It’s not about me anymore. Thank you for that.