We’ve Been Keeping a Secret…

Oh how we prayed for this day. 

Many of you know our journey to baby Atogwe number three has been a long one. We first decided we were ready to grow our family nearly two years ago. I had been facing some unresolved health issues so we decided to wait “just a few months” to get some answers to be sure it was safe to get pregnant again. Rigorous testing finally revealed I had Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis but we were told it was safe to start trying and we certainly didn’t hesitate. I found out I was pregnant one month later without fully understanding the autoimmune disease and though we were elated, we lost baby Noah and I miscarried early last summer.

Losing a baby brings on a deep brokenness that only the Lord can heal and I was left desperately waiting to have another baby to speed up the healing. I was sure if I could just get pregnant the worst of it would be over and I’d move on from that darkness. To be safe, I had more testing done and found out Hashimoto’s was much more complex than I first realized and was informed that with they levels I had at that time, getting pregnant would be dangerous for both the baby and for me. Not the news any grieving mother wants to hear. Devastated but determined, we got to work.

I worked with an incredible team of thyroid specialists and naturopaths who created a system that would create a healthy environment in my body for pregnancy. I followed (and still do) a strict eating plan, stuck to a vitamin and supplement regimen that would make your head spin and would hope every three months that my bloodwork would reflect the hard work. Month after month the Lord said not yet.

These two years have been the hardest of my life. For anyone waiting with open hands to grow your family by whatever means has been put on your heart, my prayer is that you grow nearer to the Lord in the waiting rather than withholding yourself in fear and doubt. I pray you wouldn’t give in to the bitterness but, instead, that you would rest in peace that passes understanding. Oh friend, I pray that you would have true joy.

To those who cried along with us, hoped along with us and most importantly, prayed along with us, we cannot thank you enough. I’m looking forward to sharing all about my first trimester next week but for now, I’ll leave you with this: Baby Atogwe is due May 2020, Keogena and Oshiolema are the most thrilled big siblings there ever were and Oshiomogho and I have yet to stop smiling. Bless the Lord Oh my soul.

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